Building A Foundation of Compassion and Understanding

By learning skills used in conflict resolution, one can discover new alternatives to violence-oriented thinking, new opportunities for problem solving, and new potentials for cooperation where none were seen before. Ein Bustan and El Zeiotun’s Paths to Peace program include a process of conflict resolution known as The Way of Council as taught by the Ojai Foundatoin and its sister organization in Israel, Ma’agal Hakshava. The Way of Council is a group communication process that creates a sense of community and belonging while teaching children empathy and how to listen deeply to the other. It is used in a number of schools in the United States and Ein Bustan and El Zeitoun’s Paths to Peace Program are some of the first schools in Israel using this approach. Problem-solving skills are taught in a manner that is not based on forcing one person’s will onto the other, but in a way that engenders respect for the other while finding common ground and making decisions based on common interests.

Holding council provides a means for contemplative communication and reflection that nurtures learning and connection. Councils draw on the life experience and wisdom of all participants to generate new understandings of problems and new possibilities for solutions.
Council bases its structure on indigenous traditions of using a talking piece, an object passed from person to person in a group sitting in a circle which grants the holder solid permission to speak. It combines ancient tradition with contemporary concepts of democracy and inclusivity in a complex, multicultural society. The Way of Council as taught through the Ojai Foundation and its sister Israeli organization, Ma’agal Hakshava is a non-hierarchal form of deep communication that reveals a group’s vision and purpose.

Council is consciously built on a foundation of shared values. It assumes a universal human wish to be connected to others in a fulfilling way. Values that nurture and promote good connections to others are the foundation of the council. Listening from the heart, speaking from the heart, being brief and being spontaneous are the four intentions of council that, when achieved, make deep human connection between council participants. Through the council process the synergistic power and potential of the group emerges. Rather than debating opinions in council, stories are shared.

Councils are a storytelling process. They use the history and experience of everyone in the circle to understand the situation and to look for a good way forward – not through lecturing or giving advice or telling others what to do, but through sharing stories of struggle, pain, joy, despair, and triumph. Personal narratives are the source of insight and wisdom in council . It becomes much harder to hold someone as the distant “other” and not feel connected to that person through our common humanity.

Telling our stories is a process of self-reflection. In telling our stories we articulate how we understand what has happened to us, why and how it has impacted us, and how we see ourselves and others. Our way of constructing our stories, which shapes our view of reality, becomes more transparent to us when we speak the story out loud to others.

Learning to Listen to One Another – To feel connected and respected, people need to tell their stories and have others listen. Having others listen to your story is a function of power in our culture. The more power you have, the more people will listen respectfully to your story. To listen respectfully to a person’s story is to honor that person’s intrinsic worth and to empower the storyteller in a constructive way.

Structure of Council – Students sit in a circle of chairs with no tables our on the ground. Sometimes objects that have meaning to the group are placed in the center as a focal point to remind participants of shared values and common ground. The physical format of the circle symbolizes shared leadership, equality, connection, and inclusion. It also promotes focus, accountabilitly, and participation from all.

A Talking Piece – By allowing only the person holding the talking piece to speak in council regulates the dialogue as the piece circulates consecutively from person to person around the group. The person holding the talking piece has the undivided attention of everyone else in the council and can speak without interruption. The use of the talking piece allows for full expression of emotions, deeper listening, thoughtful reflection and an unhurried pace. Additionally the talking piece creates space for people who find it difficult to speak in a group, but it never requires the holder to speak. (Adapted from Circle Processes by Kay Pranis)

Holding council in a ceremonial environmental allows for the ritual of communicating, not just with language but with sensitivities developed only when listening and speaking can occur without interruption. Attentive listening, without the option of interruption, somehow trains one to listen from the heart and develop the practice of persistent “self-witnessing.” (Adapted from Jack Zimmeman’s The Way of Council).
Intentional centering activities to open and close council sets this time apart as a contemplative space in which participants are present with themselves and one another in a way that is different from an ordinary meeting. The Way of Council creates a sense of teamwork, trust, rapport, and fellowship. It brings together the ancient wisdom of community and the contemporary value of respect for individual gifts, needs, and differences.

The Way of Council

The four tenets

Speak from the heart

When I speak from the heart, I tell my story. I speak authentically, connecting my story to my feelings, present and past, and to the deep needs that are always alive in my soul waiting to be honored.

Listen from the heart

When I listen from the heart, I am giving you the gift of my presence. I am stepping into your inner world, connecting to what is alive in you. I am listening with entire body. My eyes, my ears, my heart, and my body, are focused on you.

Be lean in your speech

I am going to tell my story succinctly. I honor your full presence. I will not tread upon that gift with lengthy speech.

Speak spontaneously

I am not rehearsing my story. If I listen to my own thoughts, I become aware that I am not listening to you. When I speak spontaneously, I am tapped into what is present and alive for me right now.